Preparing More Than the Backpack: Helping Children Feel Emotionally Ready for School

Summer is starting to come to an end, and you may be noticing bigger emotions from your children. There may be more irritability, difficulty falling asleep, a need to stay closer to you, worries they aren’t sure how to explain, or meltdowns over what may seem like small things.

As parents, we may not immediately connect these changes to the start of a new school year. However, children can begin feeling a transition long before the first day arrives, especially if they are starting at a new school.

When we think about going back to school, we often focus on making sure our children have their school supplies, shopping for new clothes, planning lunches, and figuring out who will handle transportation to and from school.

However, I think we sometimes forget about one of the biggest parts of preparing for a new school year:

Being present and prepared to support our children emotionally through the transition.

More Than One Feeling Can Be True

The beginning of a new school year can bring excitement, nervousness, curiosity, and resistance. Sometimes these feelings happen all at once.

Children can be excited to see their friends while also worrying about a new teacher. They may look forward to returning to familiar activities while feeling unsure about a different classroom or routine.

Mixed emotions do not necessarily mean that a child isn’t ready. They may simply be trying to make sense of an upcoming change.

As parents, our instinct may be to reassure our children that there is nothing to worry about. But what if we changed our approach this year? What if we acknowledged their feelings and reminded them that we are here for them?

This could be as simple as saying:

“It makes sense that you’re having some big feelings right now. Summer is coming to an end, and school is starting again.”

By responding this way, we acknowledge that having feelings is normal. We show our children that they do not need to feel ashamed of their emotions. After all, adults can experience many of the same feelings when navigating changes in our own lives.

Helping children feel heard and understood is an important first step. Once we have made space for their feelings, we can begin helping them understand what to expect. We may not be able to remove every worry, but we can reduce some of the uncertainty surrounding the transition.

Predictability Can Help Children Feel Safer

Once children have an opportunity to express their feelings safely, they may feel more able to talk about what is making them nervous.

Who will their teacher be? Which classroom will they be in? Will their friends be in their class?

Although we cannot answer every question, we can provide some predictability around what their daily routine will look like, especially if it will be different from their current summer routine.

Here are a few key areas to discuss with them:

• What school mornings will look like

• Who will take them to school

• What will happen after school

• When they will see you again

For younger children, you might walk through the routine one step at a time. For older children, you can invite them to identify which parts of the new school year feel clear and which parts still feel uncertain.

You can also begin easing into school routines now rather than waiting until a couple of days before school starts. Gradually adjusting sleep and morning routines can help make the transition feel a little more familiar.

The goal is not to plan every moment. It is to give your child a general sense of what they can expect.

The First Day Doesn’t Need to Be Perfect

Even with preparation, your child may still feel nervous, and that is okay.

We can continue to reassure them, talk about the new routine, make room for them to express their big emotions, and remind them that they are not alone while navigating this transition.

A difficult morning, a tearful goodbye, or an emotional afternoon does not mean the transition is going badly. It may simply mean that your child is still adjusting to all the new changes.

Remember: The goal isn’t to create a perfect first day. It’s to help your child feel understood, supported, and a little more prepared.