Easing School Transitions: A Calmer Start to the School Year

Back-to-school season brings mixed feelings for many families. Many children can’t wait to see their friends. While others experience anxiety, resistance, or even meltdowns as the first day approaches.

School transitions can stir up big feelings!

Why School Transitions Can Be Tough

Even if your child likes school, a new year often brings:

• Uncertainty about a new teacher, class, or school building

• Social anxiety or fear of not fitting in

• Pressure to perform in a certain way

• Separation stress (especially for younger kids or anxious kiddos)

And for us parents? We juggle logistics, emotions, and the mental load of getting everyone out the door on time in a calm and gentle way.

Counsellor’s-Backed Tips for a Smoother Transition

1. Start Routines Early

Begin shifting sleep and wake times about 2 weeks before school starts. Predictability helps regulate emotions and reduce morning chaos. A good sleep schedule will help the big emotions that come with the start of school.

2. Normalize Big Feelings

Use phrases like:

• “It’s okay to feel nervous about school. Lots of kids do.”

• “Change is hard for everyone, especially when we do not know where we will be at school.”

This helps kids feel seen and safe without pressure to be positive around school.

3. Create a Visual Routine Chart

Visual schedules build confidence and reduce the number of reminders you need to give overtime. Kids are more likely to remember it if they can see it!

“out of sight, out of mind”

Try to make it an activity where everyone helps create their visual schedules. When kids help create a routine, they’re more likely to follow it. This helps them build life skills and empowers them.

4. Do a "Practice Morning"

Try a full run-through of a school morning: wake-up, breakfast, getting dressed, packing a lunch. Make it playful—but real.

This is good for us parents too! It will remind us of our own big emotions that come up during the mornings when we are rushing around. Which will give us with time to think about how we can make the mornings easier for us and our children.

Special Note: School Transitions for Kids with ADHD

For kids with ADHD, transitions can be difficult and can impact their ability to regulate. The shift from summer freedom to structured school days may lead to:

• Increased frustration or irritability

• Trouble with morning routines or time management

• Big emotional reactions to small changes

• Forgetfulness (homework, shoes, water bottles... you name it)

Here’s what helps:

• Pre-teaching the plan (e.g., “Here’s what mornings will look like. Let’s practice together.”)

• Extra movement time in the morning or right after school

• Visual and written checklists (bonus: laminate and use a dry erase marker)

• Connection first—always try to lead with empathy, not correction

Reminder that they are not “being difficult”—they’re having a hard time. Children who struggle with ADHD do not do well with change especially their routines. If their routine has changed for the summer, it is hard for them to shift to the back to school routine. Provide structure, support, and understanding to help them feel successful.

Reminder for parents

Going back to school is hard for not only our kids but also us parents! September brings a lot of chaos with school and the start of after school activities. It is normal for us to feel overwhelmed too. This is a good time for us to be practicing our healthy coping skills and checking in with our own emotions. Try to be kind and gentle with yourself but acknowledge that it is ok to feel the emotions that you feel too.

Courtney Sambray, RSW, CCC | Calmer Minds Counselling, Kamloops BC